After surviving a life as a child that most are amazed that
he lived through, Coach Larry Clay Lonis has done wonders for the business and
Martial Arts world. While being known
for controversial methods of teaching in the business world and in Krav Maga,
he has produced amazingly successful and proficient Martial Arts and Business
Students.
Technically, this is supposed to be my “About Page”, so I'm
supposed to be writing about myself. And, since I have you for this short
moment, I'd like more, to tell you something that you need to hear right now.
First, you'll notice I'm not selling anything on this page. Second, I’m willing
to bet you are only working in a fraction of your highest capability.
YOU...CAN...DO...MORE, and enjoy the process! You have yet to discover your true
excellence; and you definitely have excellence that you don't even know you
have! You have yet to grab hold of the full power of your best ability. You may
be letting the worries and fears get the best of you – that’s normal, but not
optimal. You have much to offer, and I want you to 'stop missing the bus'.
Listen...if there's anyone who has every excuse in the world to just lay down
and die, it's this guy right here.
Here's a few bullet points for you just so you understand:
Here's a few bullet points for you just so you understand:
·
My First Stepfather killed himself.
·
I was raped for around 6 months as a child
(Around age 6).
·
I was left neglected and starving with very little food for
long periods of time -Sometimes days...sometimes weeks.
·
As if this wasn't enough, my second Stepfather
was one of the most violent, feared, and
verbally abusive people you could have ever met. He was known around my
hometown of Lubbock, Texas as "Uncle Nasty".
·
I moved out of that home when I was 16
While I thank God for a Sister that was only 9 years older
than me who was there to take care of me up until I was 7 years old, and for
the prayers of my Grand-parents who were afraid to do too much in fear that if
they were found out, it would only make things harder on my Sister and I, do
you know what I figured out and what I was told??? I was told by a Christian
Counselor that the most savage attack on my life wasn’t that I was beaten,
starved, neglected, or even raped. He
said [READ THIS, MEN] the most
horrific thing that ever happened to me was that I was left without a positive
male role model as an example in my life.
What I haven’t told you yet…
1. I forgave, but I didn’t say forgiving was easy.
2. I didn’t say it
didn’t affect me.
3. I didn’t say
people didn’t hold it against me or use my past to their advantage when trying
to make me look bad or make themselves look better.
4. I didn’t say my
life got easier.
5. I didn’t say there weren’t ideologies that I didn’t know
were wrong that I didn’t had to get over and totally RELEARN what was actually
right.
BUT WHAT I AM SAYING, IS THAT WHILE I’M FINE WITH MYSELF AND
UNDERSTAND I’M IN MY OWN PROCESS, I WANT TO CONSTANTLY BE A BETTER PERSON, AND
WILL NOT LET MYSELF BE CONTENT WITH FAILURE WHEN IT HAPPENS.
Here is something else I will tell you,
I mentioned this before, but it was the best advice(warning)
that I ever got, and it was EXACTLY SPOT-ON.
“There will be
haters”….
Seriously…everyone thinks (rightfully so) that they are a
likeable and good person. Some of us don’t even realize our “bad intentions”
and in many other cases, don’t even realize those intentions are “bad”. Keeping that in mind is the only thing that
has helped me not just absolutely want to annihilate a few people.
Here’s what I mean:
People WILL use your past against you. You know that scripture that warns you to not
“throw your pearls before swine”??? Heck, I had a ‘best friend’ in college use
my past against me. Ya see, I was so
embarrassed about my history that I let some people who had recently become
good friends with me think that I had no parents. They, I think, assumed that my parents died
when I was younger, and to be honest, I was glad to let them think that. When it finally came out that my parents were
alive, I told them the truth of course and along with the truth about my
history so they would ‘understand’.
Unfortunately a guy who I considered to be a best friend wanted to date
a girl that had her eye on me used that info against me. He
(easily) made me look like a liar, told her about my history, and said I lied
to them about my Parents, and soon started dating her himself.
Here’s another example… (Don’t worry…this isn’t a gripe
session…this all relates and you’ll see why shortly). Currently, there is a ‘gentleman’ out of my
hometown that finds GREAT joy in following me around (on the internet) and
trolling me like a 13 year old little girl, and wreaking havoc like an
amazingly ‘brave’ keyboard warrior. He’s
a previous student of mine that tells everyone I “went to a Krav Maga training
WITH HIM in Atlanta” (weird how he likes to word things that way, btw…don’t you
think) and absolutely waits for anything he can find to make it look like I
have made a mistake, and go insane about it online – posting on every Martial
Arts and Business forum that he can, while writing fake reviews under fake
names (like ‘Lubbockite’ and ‘RedRaco’), on my google business pages, and just
generally talking as much trash as possible. NOT TO SAY I’M PERFECT, because like anyone, I’ve
made some bad decisions…a couple really bad ones….and paid for them. But when
other people focus on YOUR mistakes and harp on them profusely, just know that
they must have issues so big that they know they can’t conquer, so they have to
focus on yours and amplify what they want people to think about you.
Here’s the crazy thing about that. I was there for this guy through his divorce,
and through his crying and moaning about every time he was cheated on and/or
dumped, there for him every time he had a bout with a pretty hardcore disease
that he has, and there when he just needed to be around someone. He decided to dislike me when the Krav Maga
Association I was with told me to “never bring him to ANY function of theirs
EVER AGAIN”. He needed someone to blame
and hate in his humiliation, and even though I felt bad for him through yet
another rejection (which he handles horribly), he still…TO THIS DAY AFTER 15
YEARS…stalks me and tries to tear my life to pieces online. (He’s never agreed to meet me publicly even
though he has been offered to MANY times btw).
SO MY POINT IS…
Not only be prepared that people in general will disappoint you and talk trash,
but EXPECT IT and know that even the people you know, like, help, and care
about will talk trash, and/or even turn against you when you start to do anything big, because of their own jealousy, lack of self worth, and character flaws. People are competitive,
they are jealous, and they sometimes some of them will do whatever they can to
make themselves look better and feel valued by others, even if it brings the
most negative aspects out of them, and is extremely detrimental to others. There is a reason I have 5 “REAL” friends
that I’ve had for 20 years and more, out of the 1000’s of people that I have
met and/or gotten to know.
LASTLY….A little saying I've come to value that made a huge impression on me and one I have to remind myself of constantly is this..."Accept no criticism or judgment from anyone you wouldn’t gladly trade places with".
LASTLY….A little saying I've come to value that made a huge impression on me and one I have to remind myself of constantly is this..."Accept no criticism or judgment from anyone you wouldn’t gladly trade places with".
I hope you found this helpful, and I hope it motivates you
to reach for your highest and hardest goals while being prepared for (and even ok with) people disappointing you.
Feel free to check out other blog articles I’ll have coming up on forgiveness, anger (and why it’s ok), trust (what it’s not and why we are not “supposed” to trust), and the reason it’s ok to be “Blinded by success”.
Feel free to check out other blog articles I’ll have coming up on forgiveness, anger (and why it’s ok), trust (what it’s not and why we are not “supposed” to trust), and the reason it’s ok to be “Blinded by success”.
Let me know what you thought,